I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
