I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
someone owes me an orgasm
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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