I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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