I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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