How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
