Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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