They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
