When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize