she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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