Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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