So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
