after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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