I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
