and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
