Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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