They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
