i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
