Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
