I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
