I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
