What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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