My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
