you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize