I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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