I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I want her autograph on my taint
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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