like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize