He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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