I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
