she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
