Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize