Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
