I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
