I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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