OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
