Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
