Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
