My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Text me some of your sweat
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
