The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
