I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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