TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
