youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
