His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
