he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
