im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
