yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think I won the penis lottery.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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