rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
