Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
