we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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