Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
