i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need water and some morals
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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