I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
