I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
