where am i from again
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize