I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
