Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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