If i come over, it means nothing
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I came so hard my ears popped.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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