You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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