In the future we'll all be gay
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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