He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm really busy with my period
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