I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize