the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
