I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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