YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
