The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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