Duck Duck Cougar?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
