dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
