bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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