My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
whose parrot is this?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
