my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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