Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
