she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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